Looking outward [open]

[James Kessel]

Looking outward into the night was James Kessel. It was about four o clock in the morning, and it was the coldest day of the year. He himself had measured it to be negative five hundred thousand degrees, to be more specific, if possible. It was raining heavily, and windy. His linen shirt and long, loose tunic weren't helping with the temperature related discomfort either.

What he saw, that is, where he was looking out onto, was the right side of the enormous castle. There were a acres upon acres of feilds and gardens, until they stopped, where a forest stood dark and mysterious.

Where he was was far less dramatic and even more less an interesting site to look at. It was a low ceilinged, dark, and dank little room. Much like an abnormally wide crawl space. The room was empty, save the five other people on the floor asleep with some blankets. There was no furniture, unless you can count pegs on the wall and a few bags and a couple little wooden boxes against the walls and in corners furniture.

And here James was, staring out of one of the long narrow windows, wishing life was a little less lonely, and a little more interesting.

But, as James was pondering his unchangeable life course in vain, it must be mentioned that he didn't always sleep here. He and his ridiculously few 'belongings' rarely slept in the same place two nights in a row. When he wasn't sleeping outside the King's chambers on the floor in the hall, he was swopped from room to room in the servants quarters - wherever their was room. You see, guests brought their servants with them, who took up space. And if their wasn't any room here, he was in the kitchen's, next to the ever burning hearth.

His nomadic arrangements kept him from the same people every day, which kept him from becoming friendly with anyone. It made it impossible to make any... friends.

Yes, depressing. But this was not what he was thinking about. As mentioned already, he was thinking about the extreme lack of activity. It was making everything extremely uneventful and giving him far too much freetime, which is not healthy for James. He was going mad not being busy. Perhaps to create turmoil would be a good answer to this problem. Then he would have something to fix!

No, never. One, it wouldn't work. And two, it was even more pathetic than his existence.

Definately saying something.

[Kaitlin-Rose Brown]

Kaitlin Rose Jackson wearily climbed the stairs to her usual servants quarters. It had been a very long night. First running around for the queen, then having to fight with her older sister about how she did a chore. Her sister always thought she was better than her. Always. Her parents liked her more as well. Let's face it. She was a lot smarter than Kaitlin had ever been and her beauty...well she was definitely beautiful. Little voices in her head never stopped telling her that she would never be as good as her sister. It got extremely tiring after a while. She, herself, was a hard worker and she happened to have some good looks. Not like her sister, though.

Kaitlin Rose sighed as she made her way into the servants quarters. It was bone chillingly cold and her servants dress did hardly anything to keep her warm. Though she was a lady in waiting to the queen she never waited by her door for every beck and call. Her sister was her favorite and so she just stood by for when she was needed. She tried rubbing her arms for extra warmth but it didn't work as well as she had hoped. Fumbling around in the darkness, she finally found her few possessions. Servants didn't have many things. That's when she looked to wards the window and saw a lone boy sitting there. A good looking lone boy. Her major down fall according to her sister was that she paid too much attention to boys. She couldn't help it.

Quietly walking over to him, her shoes softly clicking against the floor, she stood by his side. She looked out the window and sighed once again. There was so much to see and explore, but to make a decent living she was needed hear. Life was unfair sometimes.
"It is beautiful, isn't it?" she asked quietly looking at handsome face of the boy.
He looked about her age maybe a little older. He had golden blonde hair and amazing eyes. Kaitlin's dark brown eyes sparkled in the moonlight with the rain coming down. Maybe being here tonight would not be as bad as she thought.

[James Kessel]

Spinning around, his hands still tight around his knees and still in a little bit of a daze, he looked up and saw a very pretty woman looking down at him from across the room. It was rather alarming actually, because he never really talked to anyone, let alone.. well, let alone people as wonderful as this one. It seemed impossible that she was down here, where the small people were. The people who did the working for the people who never had too.

But, surprisingly, she was there. Right infront of him, and, drawing himself together and making sure not to gape like a fool or stutter away any moment of happiness he smiled. Glancing back out of the window he said, practically whispering, "Yes. It is wonderful."

He could think of several other beautiful things at that moment. It was shocking that he hadn't seen, hadn't noticed her, before this moment. Well, it was a large castle.... Rising to his knees, still next to the window, her turned on them and stood, motioning for her to come over.

"I am James. James Kessel. What is your name?" He was never so genuinely interested in learning someones name before.

[Kaitlin-Rose Brown]

Kaitlin smiled as she walked over to where the boy was sitting. She sat down next to him, probably nearer then was proper in society. She didn't care, really. The queen and her sister were not around so she didn't have to behave like a doll. The boy was very handsome. She hadn't seen him around though. It was confusing her because she basically knew everyone. Being a lady in waiting to the queen you had to have many allies. Up until now she thought she knew everybody.
"My name is Kaitlin-Rose Jackson. I am a lady in waiting to the Queen." she said her voice soft, and dare she say it, seductive.
This is what got her in trouble with her sister. She was too big of a flirt. She couldn't help it. She was drawn to boys. Any girl with her own mind was at her age.

The boy said his name was James Kessel. Again she had never heard of a James Kessel. Thank goodness she knew him now. As if his face wasn't enough he looked toned and muscular under the thin servants close he wore. She moved in a little closer to James. It was awfully cold and she did not remember where she put her cloak.
"It is very cold in here isn't it." she said with a soft smile.
She had to keep the conversation flowing. She needed James as a friend and if he liked her that way, friends with certain benefits. Kaitlin could not let someone this handsome slip through her fingers. She was a bold child and was always counted on making the first moves. Usually. Sometimes she met a boy bolder than herself and found herself having to answer the questions. She liked men like that.

Today she had worked harder than she had in a year or so and decided tonight she should reward herself. Naturally she let the sleeve of her dress fall below her shoulder. Seeming unaware of the situation she looked out the window James was looking out of. The rain was still pounding the ground. It was a cold rain. Not like the warm showers in the summer. When in rained in the summer she ran errands for the queen and enjoyed walking in the rain. She sighed. Winter was a dreary time of year. She detested it with her whole being.
"I have not seen you around the castle, your presence surprised me tonight. Not that I don't like it; I very much do. My inquires to your position?"
If this kept going her way she would be very much relaxed by the breaking of dawn. Which is exactly what she was planning for.

[James Kessel]

James let a smile play around his lips for once - something that did not often happen - and continued to stare out the window into the early morning darkness. He was quite enchanted by her and, not necessarily afraid or intimidated, but he was, in a way, captivated by her. She was a little different, a little wilder attitude to her person. It was strange, but not in a bad way, he found himself realizing. Well, not in a bad way to him...

He smiled at her properly, giving her a more longer glance. He looked her in the eye, which he never really got the chance to do to anyone.Once he did he didn't want to stop. He knew that women very rarely were paid attention too in a proper fashion, and he wanted to make her feel like he appreciated her for something more. It was just his instincts, not experience or personal desire, just his natural way of doing things.

"What a lovely name. Shall I call you Kaitlin or Kaitlin-Rose?" he inquired, his eyes moving back to the window.

Wrapping his arms around his legs again at her next question, having forgotten, just for a moment, that it was so cold. "Yes it is freezing isn't it? It's always cold around here this time of year..." he trailed off. He did not want to talk about sad things like that to her. Rain and cold made him sad. It seemed James was more vulerable to things like weather, attitudes, and actions than people themselves.

He shrugged, looking back into her eyes, completely avoiding the fact that her dress had fallen down, revealing her pretty neck and shoulder and arm to him. He didn't want to her know he had noticed. It seemed the chivalrous thing to do, in a case such as this. "I am just a servant, the King's personal servant."

[Kaitlin-Rose Brown]

Kaitlin saw that he was ignoring her subtle hints. She had to keep trying. James wrapped his arms around his legs again and she wanted so badly to reach out and brush her hand ever so gently across his cheek. She wanted to be close to him and rest her head on his shoulder. Another urge that had to violently bitten back. Instead she answered him in a low soft voice.
[color-royalblue]"Yes it is rather cold, the rain does not help much."[/color] she said glancing out the window.
She sighed and thought about the sunshine that came with summer and spring. It was so beautiful outside during those times. When she was off duty on those rare occasions she'd go out into the fields, take off her shoes, and run around in the sun. She felt so free.
"You may call me whatever sounds better to you." she smiled at his question.
She wanted him badly. That much was certain.

Kaitlin decided to pull out her next move and scooted closer to the handsome boy she was talking to. She could feel his leg next to hers. Their arms brushed together and she felt the warmth of his skin. Again her hand ached to reach and touch his soft looking skin. To brush his cheek and hold his hand. Tonight her heart held a longing for the feeling of being wanted. She wanted a man to hold her and tell her she was important. She wanted that sense of being admired and loved by someone. Being the disappointment of her family always made that longing stronger. James pulled at her longing. It grew stronger when she was nearer to him. What was she feeling? Could she even tell him?

[James Kessel]

James got it. For a moment, his brain freezing, totally alarmed, he wasn't sure what to do. But then, thankfully the rest of him not freezihng up too, he relaxed. He new what he wanted to do, what she wanted to do, and what was accepetable to do. Perhaps he would just meet all three in between. He looked at her, into her deep strangely hardened but wonderful eyes, and smiled beautifully. So he hoped. "It's hard to pay attention to that right now though," he said, insinuating the rain. "I'm quite captivated by you, you seem so beautiful in every way. It's rather nice."

Still smiling he took her soft hands lightly and gently into his rough over-worked ones and looked out the window. He sat for another few moments and then said, very quietly, to the window. "But let's just take our time okay? Then we can actually make something of ourselves." He hoped very much she would understand. Too many people dived in too fast, then it just lost it's spark. He couldn't let that happen. He never wanted to be closer to anyone before. It was frightening and exhilerating at the same time. "Do you understand?" he asked in a way that didn't sound as if he thought she was stupid or childish. He asked it in a way as if he were asking for a favor from her. James hoped she would catch that too.

He couldn't discribe to even himself the satisfaction he was feeling. It was as if something in his heart was closing, like a hole that had been ripped open had been fixed. James couldn't remember the last time he had felt this full of... life.

[Kaitlin-Rose Brown]

Kaitlin looked deeply into James' amazing eyes. They were clear and deep. She felt herself falling a bit more for him with every passing moment. She felt his hand on his. It was rough from the hard work he did. She rubbed the top with her thumb and bit her lip ever so gently. The urges grew stronger. Harder and harder she had to bite them back. The notice of leg touching hers grew more noticeable. He told her they needed to take things slow. Great, that was one thing that was always hard for Kaitlin to hear. He moved closer and her breathing became slightly irregular.
"I-I agree." she stammered trying to control the frenzy heart beatings.
She wouldn't be surprised if James could hear her heart beating. It was out of control. The loud drumming echoed throughout her body.

Before she lost her head Kaitlin stood up. James had said that he was captivated by her. So he did like her in return. She wished to be back his warm body but she had to keep her cool. James had already drawn the line and she didn't dare pass it; yet.
"I am sorry. You have such a strong affect on me. I did not want to push things to far." she apologized.
Now that she had James she didn't want to loose him. She couldn't let her impulses get the better of her thinking. She had done things she regretted because of them. This was one of times she couldn't ruin. Now matter how strong the feeling was.

[James Kessel]

James felt horrible, honestly. He didn't want to put her through any embarrassment or discomfort or discontentment, but this type of thing was one of the only times he was going to be able to make a choice for himself, and he just couldn't bear to through a chance like that away by compromising. Surely she would understand one day. She didn't seem terribly upset, just a tiny bit shocked...

"Don't apologise, please. It's my fault," he said, almost pleadingly, turning to look at her again. But she was standing up now. Mild alarmed, he looked up at her. It must have been a strange picture, a young man sitting sideways on his knees staring up at this pretty little woman. But he didn't care. He was like a child.

He was so innocent, and his pretty, wide, unguilty eyes looking deep into hers proved it -though he didn't know it. He had always known he was different from other men, but he just thought that was life.

"It's a strange world..." he muttered suddenly, standing up next to her.
Daringly, he put his arms around her waist. "Let's walk before sunrise. Out in the back gardens. No one will notice. No one will mind. Before we have to work, let's go." He smiled like a child and pulled her closer.

[Kaitlin-Rose Brown]

Kaitlin listened to James apologize. It wasn't his fault at all. She was wanting to much to fast.
"No James, it is not you. You don't the affect you have on me. I don't want things to move to fast, and well, if I let my feelings win over my sense we would do something we might regret."
Kaitlin moved to wards him but he drew her in by the waist. She liked that. She was inches away from his face. She could feel his warm breath and smell the faded scent of the days work. She was so close. His arms around her waist made her feel secure. He asked if she wanted to go for a walk in the gardens. In the rain. It was like he had read her mind.
"I would love to." she said softly looking up onto his face.
James was at least 2 or 3 inches taller than her. The pull to wards him grew stronger.

Kaitlin was caught. She wanted him so much. The next thing she knew her lips were softly pressed against his. Her arms were around his neck. She shouldn't be doing this. As quickly as it started she was 3 feet away from him her breathing a bit irregular.
"See what I mean? I can't control myself very well around you. I am sorry." she said looking down a bit.
This was going to be a long walk. With his body so close to hers. The rain falling onto her face. It seemed like the perfect setting, but she had to control herself better.

[James Kessel]

James was so happy in that moment his heart could've flown out of his chest. His breathing was soft and relaxed, as were his thoughts. This rarely happened to him, he was so often worried or either busy, and the change felt good to him. Coincidentally, it was no surprise when she kissed him. It made his blood heat up in a really wonderfully dangerous way.
He was still looking at her with the same adoration as before. "Don't apologise!" he said. If it hadn't been he who had said it it would have sounded aggressive, but his voice could and had never sounded that way before, so it ending up sounding just as pleading as when he had asked her to slow it down.
He kissed her ever so softly on the cheek and separated from her, holding only her hand.
"Let's go out now to the garden. I just love the rain...."